


The Simple Life

by Random_DATA, RingoGoBingo



Category: Strange Magic (2015)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Eventual Smut, F/M, Farm/smalltown AU, Fluff and Humor, Gardener Marianne, Human, Human AU, Mechanic Bog, Potion-less, farmer au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-22
Updated: 2015-09-22
Packaged: 2018-04-22 23:25:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4854602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Random_DATA/pseuds/Random_DATA, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RingoGoBingo/pseuds/RingoGoBingo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bog was living the solemn life of an angry single man. Alone every day, just him and his lawn. Life was perfect by his standards.</p><p>That is until one day, when his once quiet neighbor reveals themselves much more an annoyance than he could possibly anticipate. </p><p>Meeting the most aggressive gardener in existence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Simple Life

Chapter 1

 

It all began with an angry brunette holding a flashlight, diving into a garden on her hands and knees, pointing a finger at a young tomato plant.... at 9:30 in the night.

"Son-of-a-... You _better_ start photosynthesizing your ass some fruit or you're fertilizer! You got that?!" *gasp* "and are those beetle eggs I see under your leaves?! nuh-uh. No. NOPE."

The angry brunette then began combing all the plants for bug nests, occasionally stopping to 'pep talk' some more struggling sprouts in a hard cast flashlight beam, like a scene out of a film noir. But what stopped her at last was a rising wall...no wait, it was a fence. A wooden fence so tall it towered above her by at least 3 feet.  
"Who in the world needs a fence this...big?" she grimaced as she glanced along the tall fence, noticing it also stretched quite far across the landscape. Possibly along the whole back of the property.

"Hmph.." She looked back down suddenly unimpressed, noting all the plants near the fence were clearly not getting enough sun. "Well that decides it. The fence has got to go." She said as a matter of factly; turning around to head back towards the main house, whipping out her cellphone to google for a land surveyor.  
Before she crossed the garden's threshold onto the grass, she peeks over her shoulder smirking only to say: 

"Heads up my darlings! Tomorrow's gonna be sunny after all~".

Determination had never looked so scary. All the plants _shuddered_ with anticipation in the night's summer breeze.

 

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Next morning, a man named Bog woke up tired and groggy as usual. He sat up in his bed hunched over, sliding his legs off the side of the bed, scratching his stubble while his eyes adjusted to the light in the room. Still achy in his back from working on a carburetor the previous day, he then started stretching from his lower back up to his shoulders, clasping his knees with both hands as he pushed back with his spine. He didn't know if what he was doing was the proper way to stretch, like those yoga ladies probably do, but he just was moving and wriggling about to try and feel better. Rotating his shoulders and jutting out his legs to crack before putting weight on them and getting up for the day. He suddenly shuddered all over like a wet dog as the brisk air left over from the night hit him, fully exposed now save for his boxers. Even with this cold wake up call, he was still sleepy. When was the last time he got a good nights rest anyway? Wasn't working hard everyday supposed to wear you down into a coma?

He pondered over this as he walked over to his bathroom. Beginning his morning ritual of pissing, showering and brushing his teeth before heading out. Gingerly he had to bat down his 'morning greeter' before starting the first task. All that stretching probably pumped around to much blood. But he couldn't help it, his back was killing him. He mentally noted to take some advil momentarily before showering but only **after** washing his hands. _Can't mess that order up_ \- He thought.

His shower took longer than he thought, the hot water running down his back had felt absolutely amazing. Still no real relief until the advil kicks in. As it were, he was going to be running late if he made coffee and breakfast, so he opted to leave earlier and hope someone brought some to the shop. _Always was a plethora of doughnuts going around_...He speculated. It was when he opened his front door, keys in hand to lock up and drive off that he heard music... Rather loud music. And then looking out across his front lawn to the right side he finally noticed a large fixture of his was missing.  
"W-wha-?" He was at a loss for words, gaping and looking around quickly like it was simply misplaced.  
He stiffened in anger and shock, cracking his back almost as he yelled in thickened scottish brogue,  
"Wheur th' FUCK is mah FENCE?!"  
Now that he was fully awake and angry, all his attention was on the last remains of his fence, four boards sticking out in the middle of a garden that seemed to have appeared there overnight. It could have always been there on the other side of his fence, but some new freshly dug rows on his property had him convinced some kind of magic did this. Faeries? Elves maybe? Suddenly a body bobbed at the side of the fence remains. It became clear is was a human, and they were dancing to the music blaring from a nearby boombox. Magical creatures didn't listen to Def Leppard's- 'Rock of Ages'. In that split second Bog's face set in a deep scowl, gritting his teeth he stomped over his lawn in long strides towards the menace and possible fence murderer. The four remaining boards looking suspiciously like a sick and twisted idea of a gravestone.

"HEY! Hey yu! Whit in bludy hell hap'nd to mah fence?! An' whut dae ye think ye'ur doen' on MAH land?" The last part had him thumbing towards himself, believing he'd be more convincing, although the person couldn't even see him.

He barely heard someone yell questioningly "Whaaat?" from the other side of the fence as he approached. Growing more and more annoyed by the second, he then B-lined toward the boombox and slammed off the volume in the angriest pinch imaginable to volume knobs worldwide. He quickly turned around, brow knitted, only to see air... then drew his eyes downward at a short- well, short compared to him- woman glaring back at him, hands on her hips suddenly too close for comfort. He didn't expect anyone to just rush up to him.

"Excuse me" She hissed, "I was listening to that".

He was still shocked by the closeness of her, so menacing yet so much smaller. He couldn't help but take her in with a quick up and down glance. She had brown hair covering lightly fierce amber eyes clouded in dark eyeshadow, lips painted just as dark. Wearing tight fitted clothes- a black tank top and dark purple patterned shorts; she was entirely covered in dirt smudges and sweat. She wasn't even wearing shoes... But more importantly, who wears eyeshadow when gardening?  
Taking his silence and slightly gaping mouth as defeat, she cockily went around him and turned the volume up again, a smirk on her face as Ozzy Osbounre's- 'I Don't Want to Stop' was playing just before the guitar intro started. This guy was pretty big but too slow to realize her natural strong will. She was gonna have to turn up the charm to end this quickly.  
She was casually walking away from him, a swing to her backside in tune to the music blaring once more. Momentarily distracting as that was, especially with a noticeable tattoo peeking from her tanktop on her shoulder blades, Bog still regained composure long enough to whip around and turn the volume off- again.  
She was not going to simply ignore him.

"NO!" He growled, the off'ed music making a silence ring between them as she looked back annoyed. "Wha did ye do lassy, to MAH fence?!"

"Lassy?" she said questioningly at first, noting his accent and particular turn of phrase, but then added on purpose, "do I look like some kind of dog to you?"

"WHUT? that's not- thats nae whut Ah meant! FUCK! Ye-- ye know ah didn't mean tha' --ARGH!-- Don't try changin' th' subject! WHAUR IS MAH FENCE!?" 

Pretending to flick dirt from her nails, enjoying his rise in temper,"Oh, that rickety thing? I had it removed." She looked back at him blank faced. "It was on my property and hampering the sunlight for my plants. Had to go."

"sunlight? PLANTS?! Dat was MAH fence, on MAH LAND. You canae jus-"

"ACTUALLY." she said over-confidently interrupting him, "it was on MY land. So I had it removed."

"Whut??" Bog gawked, squinting one eye in disbelief.

"Yep." She said, puckering the 'p'. "I had a surveyor come out this morning, seems you don't know where the lines lay buddy."

“Wh- OI.” Alright he had to man up and stop being so confounded, this was getting ridiculous. “I want papers. NOW. An’ I ain’t yer _buddy_ ”.

She reached in her back pocket for a folded up piece of paper. Walking up and thrusting it into his chest, "here!" she said with a bark. Then crossed her arms in wait, trying hard to ignore his broad chest that was unexpectedly firm to her touch. Distracting herself with watching him scramble to open the layout map.

The lass was right. According to the surveyor, his land was farther in than he thought. If she was part of the Fairfield's that neighbored him anyway, they could have easily paid off the git and got whatever they wanted...

"So dats how it is huh..." Bog's patience with this woman...and his back, were finally gone. He began gesturing widely.  
"MY, Mr. Fairfield needs anither field in thes town? An' fer whut?" He looks around, "A wee garden huh? Doen't grow enough food for teh family eh? Need a little extra scrap fer the workers, is da it?” He then leaned down to look the girl in her eyes, a smug look on his face that really didn’t suit him but bridled by his anger. “Ye poor scrawny lit'le thing must be hungr-!"  
He didn't get to finish his sentence, let alone his aimless rant, as a fist crossed his jaw sending his head back. He was on his ass now, dazed and rubbing his face as a burning sensation set in. He looked up at her shadowed figure as she approached him, rubbing her knuckles.

"My _father_ has nothing to do with this. This is _my_ garden." She said down to him, pure hate in her eyes. "Now get off my property".

He collected himself off the ground in a rush, sneering at the woman. He didn't even notice the map now crumpled in rage, still in his hand.  
"This isn't over, _princess_." he said pointing at her.

"Bring it on, your **_majesty_**."

 _Shit_... Just when he thought he could walk away from this slightly intimidating, she had to go and poke at his last name. Clearly she knew more about him than he did about her. This infuriated him, the constant surprises this woman kept throwing at him. Snarling, he turned around and stomped back across his lawn to his truck. He meant to turn the key and barrel out of there to work but he flinched as he sat in his car, his back stiffer than ever now accompanied by a sore ass and bruising jaw.  
Because of this, he managed to catch the boombox being turned back on from his rolled down window, volume at max. It was playing Scorpions- 'Rock You Like a Hurricane'.

He grumbled low and solemn, flaring his teeth as he started his car and began backing out of his driveway, trying to ignore the woman's good music choices and the overall irony they all had towards this whole morning. _Dammit_ , he thought as he caught the dashboard clock, eyes now forward on the road ahead. He was at least 20 minutes late to work.

 

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 

 

Stuff and Thang were sitting down on a stack of tires, enjoying a few doughnuts when they heard their boss roll up in his truck. Its was strange that he was running late, so they gulped down the rest of the delicious rings and got up to meet him at the door. Curiosity today much stronger than the need to live.

Stuff instinctively stepped aside as the door was kicked open, bashing Thang in the face. The boss was in a worse mood than normal, and she suddenly realized asking questions was not the best idea right now. Maybe later...

"Where are we at Stuff?" Bog growled as he headed for his office. Thang still recovering from the blow.

"We haven't begun work yet boss." she replied.

"What!?" Bog stopped to look back, ever angry.

"Yeah, we were waiting for you BK, what happened this morning?" Thang interrupted as he rubbed his forehead. "You're never this late."

Stuff felt her instincts go off again and ducked as a whole tire flew over her head. This time she managed to grab Thang and bring him down with her. Must have been a mix of mothering protection and women's intuition maybe? Inching back up cautiously, Bog roared "GET BACK TO WORK" and slammed his office door. They looked at each other and back at his door.

Bog threw his fistful of keys and paper down on his desk, as he flung himself into his chair. Pinching the bridge of his nose and gripping the leather armrest. He was going to need more advil. He pulled the desk draw open and began to dig around for some painkillers, but what he found instead was much more useful. A small bottle made of thick glass with little cheap scotch remaining inside, it was practically just asking to be drunk. Today was already full of so much early morning fun, he barely shrugged his shoulders as he unscrewed the cap and downed the rest of it. Already feeling a bit better as he slammed the bottle on the desk top, the burn in his throat nice and smooth.  
He scanned over the ball of paper that ruined his day laying innocently by his hand and decided to give it one more look. As he slowly unfolded some of it at his own pace, he noted a small line of text at the edge of the paper. Must've been part of the map key he thought with a slightly raised eyebrow. He squinted closer and read unconsciously aloud:

"...Mari-anne.. Fair...field..."

So that was the devil's true name...

He wasn't sure how he felt about this new piece of information. She really was Mr. Fairfield's daughter. He didn't even know he had a kid.. or kids? He never saw him with a wife the few times they did meet...Bog sat back and sighed, touching his pained jaw again. He felt the tables even out now that he knew her name, but then it slid again knowing he would have to apologize. He really was being an ass earlier. Even if that woman- _Marianne_ , was satan sent just to kill him off early from stress and muscle pain.

He didn't know if he had enough life left in him to face her again, let alone apologize. He sighed again, with a deeper exhale, sounding like a teenager being asked to do chores. But as he closed his eyes leaning his head back over the chair top, he saw her bright amber ones glaring back. Confident, fiery and sexy as hell. She was spitfire incarnate. Like heaven and hell was against him, so they could grow some tomatoes.

Seriously, what just happened to the simple life he was living yesterday?

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to Random_DATA for helping with this, my first fanfic.
> 
> And a nod to the youtube video of everytime Bog said 'what', whose link I have lost :C
> 
> REVIEWS/CRITQUES WELCOME!
> 
> Note: Eventual Smut tag, you have been warned.


End file.
